Couple of Laughs

[brad]

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately

take the words back or crawl into a hole? Here are the

testimonials of a few people who did:



While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided

to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally

able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and

annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not

start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror,

she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as

threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell

Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.

Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up

the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my

daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed

behind me was screams of laughter.

===============================================

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in

tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo

and a blow job?" I immediately turned around and walked back

out and never went back! My husband didn't say a word... he

knew better.

===============================================

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf

balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one

of the good-looking gentlemen who worked at the store. He

asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him

and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

===============================================

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that

sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the

display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed

any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."

My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned,

and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister

has never let me forget.

===============================================

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My

three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and

I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a

quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full

dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,

so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was

clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a

while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I

kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I

don't have any clothes with me." I repeated, "Danny, are you

SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just

KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was

getting worse... Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did

you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his

pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled: "SEE MOM,

IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on

their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.

One old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best

laugh they'd ever had!

===============================================

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a

very embarrassed female news anchor that will, in the future,

likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict

snow but don't get any? A true story: We had a female news anchor

who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,

turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8

inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to

leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing

so hard.


brad

[liljim]

thats funny stuff!!

[lilpinkflower]

Very amusing

(anyone who has noticed i've changed my post....yup your eyes are not decieving you .... this is Lilpink the morning after the night b4 lol... eeeek hahahahaha)

lilpink x