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A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope
propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom."
With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter
with trembling hands:
Dear Mom, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had
to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with John and he is so
nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle
clothes.
But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and John said that we
will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a
stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more
children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.
John taught me that marijuana doesn' t really hurt anyone and we'll be
growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine
and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find
a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know
your grandchildren.
Your daughter,
Judith
PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is
safe for me to come home.
god lol
